I am a little late to the punch with my New Year bloganuary posts, but I am actually really glad I am late because it meshes with precisely what I want to achieve this year. Something that I want to do this year is to recreate myself to be an upgrade version of who I was last year. For my followers, yall know that last year was an extremely hard one for me. Not that I went through the heaviness of healing from an accident that could have easily killed me right before this time last year, but I also went through a divorce, lost my house, lost my car, lost the woman I wanted to grow old with and lost almost all of my friends. Last year taught me a ton of things about the world and most of all, taught me a lot about myself. To explain what I want to achieve this year, I must first tell you what I learned last year. Last year I learned that I am far stronger than I ever could have imagined. I was forced to endure pain that I never saw coming. I was forced to be locked up in my room with nothing but my thoughts to keep me company the majority of the time and it was extremely…

While scrolling through social media, I scrolled by a post with Steve Harvey. Usually it’s one that I have already seen because I am a huge fan, so i typically keep scrolling, but the commentary led me to listen. In the video he says, Here is how you know you have friends. Call them up and tell them that your car broke down. Tell them that you will need a ride to work for 4 days in a row. You will find out right away. When he said that, I got a knot in my throat. I have been without a car for a very long time and the only ride I ever had was either from the girlfriend that I had at the time or a family member. Thinking deeper, I started to disagree with what he said. I know I have friends. Everyday I have people tell me how inspirational I am. Everyday I have people tell me how much they love me. Everyday I have people always tell me how much they miss me and that’s when the thought process went full circle. If these people miss me so much, why doesn’t anybody ever actually come and see me? If these people miss me so much, why am I always left on read and will go days…

This is a story about a person named Somebody. Photo by Skyler Ewing on Pexels.com Somebody had a condition. Somebody did not know the name of the condition, let alone, awareness of having the condition. One day, Somebody was daydreaming out of the window of class while a story was being told. The story was about a relationship, or what Somebody thought the story was about. Somebody was too distracted. Distracted by the number of thoughts running through Somebody’s head and the constant moving of what was happening outside. One phrase snapped Somebody out of the trance and felt the words dig deep into the soul. “Never EVER explain. A friend will not need it, and an enemy won’t believe you” Several years went by and Somebody constantly quoted that phrase during any conversations with others. One day, Somebody’s significant other said “Baby. Why are you always explaining yourself!” Those words hit Somebody hard. Felt like it ripped the soul from the body. Somebody was hurt because Somebody was guilty of doing the same thing that was being told not to do to others. Because of Someboy’s awareness of explaining, Somebody focused hard and intentionally worked on fighting the urge to explain. Somebody’s awareness allowed the opportunity to fix the problem, not knowing that it would inevitably lead to self-destruction.…

“OH MY GOSH! Why won’t you just leave me alone! You see what I’m doing don’t you?” I hear people lash out like this all the time and I am sure that you experience it as well. Sometimes, moments like these just roll off my back as if nothing happened, but in some cases, it slowly builds up and leads to high anxiety, in which I have to take myself away from that environment.Many of the situations that I observed, in my opinion, were pretty small or pointless because I didn’t see how it even affected them. For a few years, I became aware of how lashing out at certain things affected me and the people around me so I started looking at how certain things flustered people. I watched how adults would get upset with a child’s question. I watched how people would get frustrated and throw fits in traffic. I even noticed how people would get mad about a situation that didn’t even involve them and out of nowhere, it stood out completely. It is because somebody or something wasn’t doing what they wanted. That is it. Just the simple fact that many people would want you to do what they would do in a situation is literally why so many people lash out about things. Noticing that…

My entire life I have been chastised, talked about and judged because I was always one to open up early. I never quite understood why? Like I knew the reasoning from the people who judged me, but to me, their reasoning didn’t make sense. I was even turned down on several dates because the woman would say that I would get too personal too soon. “Don’t tell people your insecurities because people will use that as ammunition to hurt you.”“Don’t talk about your past relationships.”“Don’t bring up your past traumas because all you will do is push somebody away.: So my question is derived from the basic who, what, when, why and how principle. If you are not suppose to be open at the beginning, then who are you suppose to be in that that time period? Are you suppose to say everything that you feel the person wants to hear? Act the way that makes the person think that you are genuine and attractive? Yea because I don’t see how that could possibly lead to trouble later on in the relationship. What are you going to do? Are you going to do something that doesn’t make you happy only to please the other person? Are you going to conduct yourself in an activity that you aren’t really interested in?…