While scrolling through social media, I scrolled by a post with Steve Harvey. Usually it’s one that I have already seen because I am a huge fan, so i typically keep scrolling, but the commentary led me to listen. In the video he says,
Here is how you know you have friends. Call them up and tell them that your car broke down. Tell them that you will need a ride to work for 4 days in a row. You will find out right away.
When he said that, I got a knot in my throat. I have been without a car for a very long time and the only ride I ever had was either from the girlfriend that I had at the time or a family member. Thinking deeper, I started to disagree with what he said. I know I have friends. Everyday I have people tell me how inspirational I am. Everyday I have people tell me how much they love me. Everyday I have people always tell me how much they miss me and that’s when the thought process went full circle.
If these people miss me so much, why doesn’t anybody ever actually come and see me? If these people miss me so much, why am I always left on read and will go days without a response. If people miss me, why am I being ditched 90 percent of the time that people make plans with me? If they miss me, why can’t I remember the last time I actually hung out with somebody. If they miss me so much, why whenever I need anything, I always have to figure it out on my own, only for them to talk about how amazing I am for figuring it out and overcoming it after I don’t need help anymore?
This past year was a very hard one and what pushed me was knowing that I had so much support from amazing friends. Everytime I would feel alone, I would remind myself of the support. Everytime I was going through a rough time, I would remind myself of the support. Everytime I was going through an emotional time, I would remember all of my support.
Support is just that. Support. You can have support from anybody. These days, you can have support and people rooting for you all around the world but that doesn’t mean that you are truly cared for. Support doesn’t mean that you are truly loved. Support doesn’t mean that these people are you actual friends. This year taught me that I have the most amazing support system that I have ever had in my entire life but it showed me that I dont have many friends.
The people around me like the idea of me. They like the times we’ve had, they like the feelings I gave them and they like the things that Ive been able to do for them, but they arent all friends. Friends are people who can do more than just voice to you things that make you feel good. Friends are people who actually care for you and willing to sacrifice for your well being.
Although I don’t fully agree with Steve and his example because I understand that everybody has their own lives and can’t always just drop what they are doing to help, but I will say that he makes an extremely valid point. Today, not many people will get out of bed in the early mornings to lend you a hand because they are tired. Today, a lot of people are so stuck in their ways that when they have to make a change to help somebody else, they will figure that there are other people who are willing to help.
I know that I can only go off personal experiences, so I am only telling you what I am use to, but tell me this. Does this reflect anything that you are going through? If you were to need help, who do you know will help you out of the kindness of their heart instead of knowing that they are going to get something in return. If you needed help, would you be seen as a burden for them to come and pick you up, drop something off, or do something for you before a place closed? If not, then maybe they aren’t friends and just support.