Rising to my feet after a deep prayer, I walk to the bathroom to brush my teeth. While rinsing off my face, I look into the mirror and replay the conversation that I had with my Heavenly Father. I replay all of the things I am thankful for and the areas in my life that I want guidance with and it slowly had my mind running at full speed. Many of the things that I was seeking guidance for, I noticed was actually given to me in several ways that I didn’t notice until I looked at it in another point of view.
God was answering my questions. Most were handed to me and even thrown in my face, literally, but because I was expecting it to be presented in a specific way, I was blinded and pushed it away. Sometimes I even got frustrated, stressed or upset for it. How could I be so blind? Was it immaturity? Was it emotionally regulated? Was it blocked because of past experiences?
Was it just me or does this happen with everybody? Since that day, I chose to pick specific moments to listen to the things that people talked about. I listened to people who were venting about their days and how their lives are and I started seeing patterns. Many people were given exactly what they wanted in several ways. Some were actually living their blessing without noticing it. What I came to the conclusion is that a lot was blocked or pushed away because of some form fear.
Many people will pray for a loving spouse. Somebody who loves and protects both physically and mentally. A spouse who is loyal, honest, caring and supportive. Somebody who is genuine and real but because of a feeling that they had from somebody in their past, they will take some of the good qualities from that past individual and taint them with the new one because of fear of getting hurt like you did with the person in the past. You can have the loving, protective, supportive spouse in the palm of your hand but because you dont feel the way that you think you should feel, you will look to deep into every detail of that person and create reasons to make them unworthy.
The spouse may be open about his/her feelings and actions, like you are praying for, but because of past traumas, you will attack the person for voicing their thoughts, which lead to them closing their mouths. You may want somebody to protect you, but because your perception of protection is them getting loud and aggressive to people who offend you, you push away the person who decides to stay quiet to keep from getting into a situation that can possibly get you hurt.
Lets flip the script a little. I overheard a conversation between a group of 3 women. One of the women spoke about how she is tired of not having many friends. People that she can hang out with regularly and go out with like she use to. She told the women who were with her not to take offense and that she wanted somebody who had more time and wanted to travel. Somebody who had the same hobbies as her and was adventurous. While she was having that conversation, a guy walked by and introduced himself. He looked at the woman who I overheard talking about wanting friends and he complimented her leg tattoo. She gave a brief thank you and he walked away.
The moment he left, she instantly went into how she hates how guys are always complimenting her to try and get with her. Later on, I saw him in the parking lot. He got into the passenger seat of a car with surfboards loaded on the top and kissed the guy in the driver’s seat. The moment I saw that, I instantly thought about the woman. If she would have had a simple conversation with the guy, she could have easily found somebody who explored and was adventurous who was not trying to get with her. She could have easily pushed away the friend that she was complaining on not having, due to her thinking that he was just trying to get with her.
I can go on for days with the blessings that I see around everybody that they aren’t aware of pushing away. Seeing it so blatantly, I humbled myself and told myself to learn to see things for what they are instead of going only off of my perception. Because of that, I am now more aware of my prayers, wants and needs.
That prayer may answered and presented to you in the form of a compliment. That prayer can be answered and presented to you in the form of a friend, family member or stranger. That blessing could be anwered and presented to you in a form that you would not expect it to be. It could be something as innocent as somebody from your past, crossing your path and reaching out to you. That prayer could also be answered in something that feels painful like a breakup or getting fired from the job. You were probably with the person that was keeping you from doing what you need and want to do and once they left, you were able to meet somebody who filled you with everything you ever dreamed of. Getting fired from that 9-5 job that wasn’t getting you the income needed to live, opened up the door to another job that treats you better, pays better and makes you feel more fulfilled.
So the conclusion to this is dont allow fear to keep you from recieving the blessings that are being given to you. Your fear may possibly blind you and even add to your stress and struggle to what is being presented to you.