I have been flooded with positivity ever since my accident. I have had a lot of people telling me that they are proud of me and are shocked that I am pulling through so fast. Even doctors have told me that they are shocked to see how far I have come since the accident. I will honestly tell you that I don’t see it. I think it’s because I am living it, I don’t see how far I have come.
I have a lot of people asking me how I am doing this. How am I able to have a smile on my face throughout all of the pain. How I am able to still care and want to do for people even though I can’t do for myself. How are you able to continue going forward where many would have quit long time ago? I do not have the answer. No clue because from my eyes, if it wasn’t for the positivity and the love that was shared with me, I don’t think that I could do it. If I was to tell you what I thought the formula is, it would have been what I learned through all of this.
This accident taught me that what is simple to one person may be extremely hard for somebody else. Every task that I learned to be hard also taught me extreme lessons. Lessons such as Patience, Appreciation and Grace.
Coming from somebody who had a completely wild and fast lifestyle. Somebody who was athletic and had physically demanding jobs. This was hard to adapt to. Before, it was nothing to go and grab my phone that I left in the kitchen. It was nothing to leave the bathroom and forget to put on deodorant. Not the same with two broken legs, a broken left elbow, fractured ribs and forced to wear cast like boots and a neck brace. For me to go anywhere or do anything takes a very long time. At first it bothered me and then I learned that I will eventually get there. Having to go back and do something was torture. So I learned to slow down. Slowing down gave me time to think. Slowing down helped me notice things that I would have forgotten if I was moving faster. It taught me that doing things once was faster than having to do it twice. I have never felt so relaxed and patient in my life.
Waking up in the hospital was scary. I was in a weird place and surrounded by a bunch of strangers. I was laying in a bed in a lot of pain. “……involved in an accident!” was all I needed to hear before I took my first breath. That first breath was the most amazing breath I ever had in my life. The only way I can say it is that when I opened my lungs, I felt as if I just won the lottery. I still feel that feeling 6 weeks later as I write this. The ability to see my mother and father again. To joke around with my twin brother. The opportunity to create new memories. Just the fact that I was able to feel. Not a dime in the world could replace that feeling. I thought I was very appreciative before, but I am completely at peace with, and even enjoy, some of the things that I use to complain about.
I was never an aggressive person, physically or verbally, but I did act accordingly. Patience taught me to let the moment happen. If it’s something that I can’t control, like my computer freezing or being stuck in traffic, I just find something to Appreciate until I can control it. When it’s a person, it’s different. If I felt disrespected, my response to a situation would depend on me winning. I had many tactics that weren’t really obvious, but still gave me the feeling of winning. Now that I am a different person, I know that the person I was reacted because of the things that was inside of me. I was insecure and felt weak so I used my strengths to overpower. That taught me that the way people treat you is because of things that they are lacking in themselves. What I have done in both situations is respond with Grace. Getting angry isn’t going to make anything better. Follow directions and take your time. Responding with grace decreases negative reactions most of the time, and I realize that by reacting with grace also makes me feel better. So what could I lose?
These tools help me to move forward. Having patience, appreciation and grace has filled me up in more ways than I know. I don’t have as many negative feelings. Negative feelings lead to negative thoughts-negative thoughts open doors that lead to places behind you. Patience lessons the chance of getting negative thoughst that will creep into your actions that can lead to decisions that destroy productivity. Appreciation allows you to focus on the good instead of dwelling about the bad. And responding with Grace in every situation raises the chances of a positive reaction.
Patience, Appreciation, and Grace will not allow my cup to be filled with negativity. Now I am fueled. On days that I am in a dark place, I can replace negativity with light to keep me on my path. On days that I am weak, knowing that I have the ability to move puts me on my feet. When I want to stop, my cup is filled with voices of all the people cheering me on. The voices telling me to keep going. Voices of people telling me that I inspire them. Voices of people telling me that I am strong. Voices saying that they are happy that I am still here.
The accident taught me patience, appreciation and grace. Without these tools, I would never have been able to consume my fuel. My fuel is you!!!!!! Thank you so much. All of your donations and positivity is keeping me going. I truly appreciate you all. I can’t wait to see how far we all go from here.