We see a lot of pain and suffering in these days and it seems to me like a lot of it is self induced. We don’t like being in pain, feeling upset, angry and full of misery but yet we cant do something as simple as changing our perspective on a lot that is around us. Maybe it is because of our upbringing. Maybe the simplicity and/or the lack of, of life has created a sense of selfishness and entitlement. Forcing us to believe that we are owed this or expecting that to be fair
Whatever it is, until you learn this simple idea, you will remain that angry person. The cure to anger is simple. Take responsibility. Taking responsibility allows you to not aim blame at anything. Blaming a person, place or thing takes away your control. Your idea of being done wrong will always make you angry. Taking responsibility does not only take away an enemy but also gives you back your control.
I get angry at my dogs. Everyday, to this day, I catch myself getting angry because they always get into the kitty litter. That royally pisses me off and it seems like no matter how many times I correct them, they still do it. Everyday I take responsibility and that anger disappears. The moment that I feel anger, I slow down and allow myself to feel that feeling and then I ask myself questions.
What am I mad at?
– I am mad that the dogs got into the kitty litter.
Was there anything that I could have done to keep them out?
– I could have put something in the way so that they could not reach it. I could be more mindful and use self discipline and check on it throughout the day.
Is there anything that I can do to keep it from happening again?
Once I answer these type of questions, the anger is now gone. From there I am able to figure out a solution and make changes so that I won’t have to feel that again.
That goes with any scenario. You know that your company gives drug tests but you still intentionally smoke. A random test arrives and you get caught with it in your system. Rather than getting mad at your boss for firing you, take responsibility and charge that loss to the card. Yea it still sucks but there wont’t be any anger. Instead it will be a tool to learn from and to not do the same thing again.
You are speeding down the road and somebody, who is going a lot slower cuts you off. Instead of having road rage, take responsibility and simply slow down and find a better safer path.
Even in some situations where you feel somebody forced you to do something you didn’t want to do. You woke up in another person’s bed the next morning without any memory of what you did the night prior. Instead of getting mad at your boys for peer pressuring you into drinking so much, take responsibility for agreeing to take the drinks or even agreeing to go out. Not saying that you shouldn’t hang out, but take responsibility for your actions.
The world would be a way better, kinder place if people learned to take responsibility for their actions. Anger is not a fun feeling and the cure for it is simply taking responsibility. I have found out that we may be disappointed with our actions, frustrated, embarrassed and even regret some of them, but I also learned that out of all the negative feelings we may feel towards ourselves, we cant really get angry at ourself. So the cure to anger is to simply take responsibility and keep moving forward in a productive direction.