In my 33 years of living, I have been places that many haven’t been. I have been in situations that many haven’t experienced. I have also accomplished things that many haven’t accomplished.

In that same breath, I have done things that damaged me. I have made choices that wasted time and burned bridges. I have made moves that hurt me as well as hurt others.

All of what I have been through has taught me a valuable lesson. Loving myself is what pushes me forward and I want to share that idea with you.

Start off with a simple question that is pointed to someone or something that is not you. It could be a person. It could be an animal. It could be the environent or it could even be your car.

Now add love to that and what happens? Every move you will make will be out of love. Because you love, you aren’t going to put it in harms way. You aren’t going to let your kids play in the street because you love them. You wont give chocolate to the dog, no matter how much it wants it because you love it. You aren’t going to litter because you love the environment. You aren’t going to park in certain areas because you love the car.

Adding love to something pushes you to protect it as much as possible and it happens instinctively. Acting out of love leads to actions that help preserve what you love.

We like to forget to put that same love into ourselves and I don’t know why. Is it because we are so use to being us that we never think about it? Is it because we have the “It will never happen to me.”, mentality? I couldn’t tell you why, but I can tell you this.

Once you start to actually fall in love with yourself, the way that you move will change and it will be instinctively. Many times it feels like it is hard, and its going to be hard, but its the muscle memory and the habits that make it hard to change. The love is what makes the hard parts easier.

For example. Picture somebody who is a heavy drinker. The act of drinking and the mentality behind why they drink will be extremely hard to stop just because. Add the love you have for yourself and I promise you that even though you still reached for the bottle, the love put a thought of “Maybe I had enough and can save this for another time.”. That brief thought could make or break you but love will open up that added moment to go forward in the right direction.

Or look at somebody who knows that they have a really bad eating problem. Yes, I know there are a lot of reasons why somebody can have an eating problem, but love for yourself may change what you eat. Or the amount that you eat. Or even better, add other ideas such as actions that can help with your eating like going on a walk and joining the company soft ball team.

Loving yourself is more than knowing that you are in a shell of a body and accepting it because you can’t change. Loving yourself is just like loving somebody else. It is an intentional action that requires consistent challenges. Some days will be hard. Some days you will need that motivation and accountability and the love you have for yourself will simulate the friends that push you to be great. Will push you to go when you don’t want to get out of bed.

Let’s go a little deeper. Many people drain themselves because of the love for somebody else. It’s truly understandable but you should never let the love for somebody else deter you to what you need to do for yourself. Have you drained your bank accounts to provide for others, or have you allowed the non-existent boundaries to pull you backwards while pushing other forward?

It sounds selfish but hear me out. What good can you offer if you don’t have it for yourself? Serious question. If you don’t have a dime to your name, how could you possibly help people that you love? If you don’t have physical/mental strength then how could you possibly help the people that you love. I had to learn the hard way that I need to put myself first before I can do ANYTHING for anybody else.

Loving yourself will put you in the position to love affectively. Your love will allow you to set boundaries that will gain respect. Deter any unwanted expectations and still push you forward. Think about it.

If I’m wrong or if you feel that my opinion could lead somebody in the wrong direction, please comment and allow me to understand your perspective. I would love to hear your perspective. Hell, that’s a great way for growth.

I love you and I know that you are capable of loving yourself enough to push yourself into the direction that will set you free.