Imagine owning a tin cup. You have had that cup for a very long time. Throughout that time you may have had several accidents that damaged it. Dropped it a few times. Put a little too much pressure on it. Let people use it and now has brand new scratches that you’ve never seen before.
Those accidents have created bruises, dents, scratches and in some cases were even serious enough to create leaks. Unfortunately this is the only cup that you have.
It is your cup and it is your responsibility to seal it if you ever want to be able to fill it to it’s full capacity. Correct? Well how would you feel if I was to say that you are that cup and everything in your life has molded you to the shape that you are.
We have all been through a time in our lives where we were damaged. Maybe it was a something that was told to you at a very young age that you believed was true, only to find out was wrong all along. Sometimes the damage was physical such as touching a stove which left a burn along your arm.
Trauma is a part of life. Some will hurt more than others and some are extremely hard to heal from but it is something that is suppose to be learned from rather than held on to.
Insecurities. Trust issues. Jealousy. Those are all areas in your life that can drain from your cup if you don’t heal yourself. Failure to heal those wounds can be very dangerous in the long run. By not taking responsibility for your healing you will naturally expect others to heal you.
I can tell you that, until my late twenties, I was that individual that expected people to automatically do for me that I was suppose to do for myself. I would jump from relationship to relationship hoping that the next person would show me something different,
Going from job to job thinking that it was my boss that made me hate my job. Making excuses in every aspect of my being for why I was going through what I was going through. Not taking any responsibility for the emptiness that was inside of me
Running to the next woman to fill the hole that the last one dug into me. Moving to another state hoping that where I was previously was just uniquely difficult and I can be better off somewhere else. Many people don’t know the details, but it took the clicking sound of a “loaded” Glock 43 that was pressed to the roof of my mouth when my youngest daughter was taken from me by her mother to realize that something needed to change.
From that day on I did a lot of soul searching. I read countless self help books and talked to several people who picked themselves up from rock bottom. In doing so I learned that my problems derived from the lack of properly recovering from traumas stemmed as far as my childhood, and to confidently fill my cup to its max I would have to take time to myself and heal before I took any steps in any direction whether it was work, making friends, dealing with family and even starting a relationship.
I can say that I am a healed and my cup is now full. Full of love. Full of happiness. Full of forgiveness. Full of life. Now that I am healed I am able to see the affects of dealing with people who aren’t healed. People who I would gladly pour into because I had plenty to spare, and that’s when it hit me. The people that I was pouring into did t heal their damages. So as much as I poured in, the more leaked out.
Before I knew it, my cup was draining more and more until I wasn’t doing things out of the kindness of my heart. Now I was doing it because it was a job. I wasn’t kissing the way that I use to because now it was an obligation to heal a wound that I didn’t put there. I was being drained of happiness because of the lack of healing on my partners end. In the process of filling up others cups, I was becoming empty and slowly staring to have leaks myself.
I learned that I can tickle you all day long but I will never be able to make you happy. I can call you beautiful and give you compliments from the moment I wake up til the moment I fall asleep but I can’t take away insecurities. I can give all of my passwords and my location but it will not make somebody trust.
So remember that life is full of traumas. Some leave bruises while others create leaks. Leaks that will constantly drain you until you figure out what is needed for you to heal. Proper self care is priority. Just remember that a healed cup will always be a full cup.