How you are in a relationship is very important to its durability. It all begins with the introduction. Remember that the introduction is just that. Introducing who you are.
Anything you build will not have strength if it has a weak foundation. If you can’t build a house with luck, why would you try to start a relationship based off luck.
The introduction is typically when you say “Hello” for the first time. Once you say “Hello” ,you are asking for an invitation into that person.
I always hear people giving advice to others, telling them to not give somebody their all at the beginning. On the other side of the spectrum I also overhear people talking about dates that ended horribly because the other individual spilled too much at the beginning.
I will say that I can understand where they are coming from, in a sense, but where would the common ground be? Well the answer is simple. Be you and give what you have.
When I say to give them what you have, I’m saying to give them your heart. Give them your time. Give them effort. Give them who you are.
Yes I do feel that giving too much detailed information could be a bit exhausting and well, a little weird, but I also feel that it could be a little refreshing too. Giving what you have at “Hello” gives the person the opportunity to get a feel for you. To see you for who you really are.
If somebody only talked to you the way that they thought you wanted them to talk to you or tell you only what they felt that you wanted to hear, how could you ever get to know them? Wouldn’t it be a waste of time?.
Giving your all at the beginning is essential to building the base of a strong relationship whether its just as friends or somebody who you will eventually say “I do” to.
Tell that joke. That person may truly find it hysterical. Tell that past hurt. That person may understand and feel comfortable to share their previous pain. Open that door. Pull out that chair. Show pictures of your pets. Talk about embarrassing moments. Pay the bill or give your opinion on why you feel you shouldn’t have to pay the bill. Give what you have.
Giving what you have may turn the person away, and that is perfectly ok. Everybody has the right to like or dislike what you have. Be honest with the person as well as yourself. Just know you giving what you have may also bring them closer. Being honest about who you are, for both of you, will be the best thing that you could do.
Giving what you have allows the other person to get to know you. Get to see if you are what they are looking for. Allows the opportunity of showing them something new, adventurous and fun. Giving them the opportunity for them to feel comfortable to show you who they are.
Now this goes both ways. Allow them to give you all of them. Just as you are able to tell them what bothers you and what makes you happy, give them the same respect. Not giving your all will just delay the inevitable because the real is going to come out eventually.
Share your passions. Share your likes and dislikes. Tell your experiences and and how they affected you. Express your feelings. Be honest about what you don’t feel comfortable talking about or doing. Doing so can help build trust and show the person your priorities.
Faking about liking a food that you hate won’t do anything. Faking that you love an activity or acting like you don’t like something will only cause for future frustration and even pain.
So be honest with yourself and give who you are at the introduction. It will build a great foundation to build from.